Hit the Books: Strong Willed 4

Chapter 4 addresses the common errors parents can make during this training process.  (I am sure I need to be trained as much if not more than my children do!)

p99- "There is no more ineffective method of controlling human beings (of all ages) than the use of irritation and anger."

p100- "Disciplinary action influences behavior; anger does not....Adult anger produces a destructive kind of disrespect in the minds of our children.  They perceive that our frustration is caused by our inability to control the situation."

p101- "...anger often becomes a tool used consciously for the purpose of influencing behavior.  It is ineffective and can be damaging to the relationship."

p107- "You don't need anger to control children.  You do need action occassionally."

p107- "In fact, the closer the action (you take as parent) moves to the front of the conflict, the less punishment is required."

Hit the Books: Strong Willed 3

Continuing in my reading of The Strong-Willed Child, by James Dobson

p61- The overall objective... is to teach the child that his actions have inevitable consequences.

Chapter 3 deals with protecting the spirit.  How do you shape your child's will while preserving their spirit intact?  That is a very good question.

p78- It is accomplished by establishing reasonable boundaries and enforcing them with love...while avoiding any implication that the child is unwanted, unnecessary, foolish, etc...

It is good to know that the goals are, but how do you get there?  Chapter 4 addresses the common errors that many parents make in this process.